Missing My JVP Cross

MISSING MY JVP CROSS

March 15, 2007

(Background music – Jed Madela rehearsing
“Gethsemane” for JVP Concert Tom. Venue – inside this small studio in Cubao,
Drae Ybanez sitting next to me I think he’s trying to read my journal, hehehe,
joke!)

The cab driver of the taxi I rode
going to the JVP office today looked suspicious. I couldn’t quite guess if his
yellow-reddish eyes were the result of lack of sleep from 24 hour shift; or
were because of hepatitis; or he’s one of those superhero villains out to devour
his next victim (note to self – enough
HEROES watching for the meantime, imagination is crazy). I suddenly felt
the need to hold my JVP cross and do the sign of the cross and saying a short
prayer for my safety.

It’s an old habit, holding my JVP
cross pendant and doing the sign of the cross I mean. I used to do it all the
time during my JVP year and some months after – before my class, before going
home from Adagi Balay to Atiyu Balay (scared of ghosts and NPA), before
traveling especially if taking the habal-habla and I used to do it when I
needed some reassurance that I wasn’t alone.

But I didn’t have my JVP cross with me
today. Instead a whale pendant is hanging on my neck, not very appropriate for
the sign of the cross. I decided to look out the window, saw cross of Church of
Sta. Clara. I felt a bit relieved, Ateneo is so near already, I don’t think I’m
going to be devoured at all. Hay.

March
19, 2007

(JVP Concert finished! Yahoo!
Catching up on sleep. Haven’t really slept in weeks with the PPCRV Video and
the JVP concert. I still have the Broadway songs in my head)

I don’t believe I really miss my JVP
cross, as in the cross itself. I guess, to a certain extent, I miss what the 5
crosses stand for. Weird, because I strongly believe I am living my life,
upholding those 5 core values. I even tried to trick myself into not believing
in some of the Ss and tried to live selfishly and without care for other people
or for our nation. I had this “I don’t care” stage when I didn’t care what was
happening in our country, was too cynical about the government and people in
general. But I just couldn’t, it didn’t
even last for a month. I found myself so miserable - so unhappy.

Maybe in terms of the core values,
miss is not the right term. Maybe God is reminding me about the 5Ss, that’s
all. Or maybe because I got so busy helping out in the recent JVP concert that
I remembered the Ss so well. Yeah, maybe that and the timing was perfect still
being jobless and all.

---

I’m “paying it forward” in a way. I’m doing
my part in reminding you that whatever you are doing and wherever you are I
also hope that you are trying your best to live a life of Service, Simplicity,
Solidarity, Social Justice (or in my batch and earlier batches SUBVERSION) and
a life with a deep sense of
Spirituality.

See you all at 9PM!

P.S.

Miss
you Partner! 2 words Batchmates!

B23-nakikiUYAB
ako. B24-Padagos. B25-Mahal ko Kayo Lagi(kahit di tayo lagi nagkikita). B26-my last babies, Biyaya kayo sa Akin

Ates/Kuyas/Mommys&Daddys
– Was with MommyPi last week&realized again, di na ako Baby. But thanks for still making me feel that
I’ll always be your Anak or Baby Sis.

QWERTY by Paolo Dy

Rating:	★★★★★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Mystery & Suspense

Planned to do this 2 weeks ago. This is my friend's (I have to say he's my friend coz I'm so darn proud that we know each other, hehehe), Paolo Dy's, entry to Mark Burnett, Steven Spielberg and Dreamworks-On the Lot contest. More than 20,000 hits na! Yahoo!

Wag kang magpahuli, visit the link to watch, rate and review it.
http://films.thelot.com/films/19175

I'm saying this not only because I know Paolo, but because I know he's good and this entry is just really good. Makes one proud to be Pinoy. And like I told Paolo, makes one Proud to be BISDAK na PINOY!

Guilty Nationalist

Last elections, 2004, I was a very active voter's educator. I remember
talking to my boss, then JVP Executive Director now a Jesuit Brother -
Mark Lopez, that we ought to have a Voter's Ed module during the
Midyear Evaluation seminar for JVP Batch24. The module was to be
informative, simple and something they can easily adapt in their areas.
It was of National importance that we help people become more aware of
how to vote and who to vote. And admittedly, it was a personal concern
and passion... The module during the midyear did happen and the
volunteers rated it highest in the seminar evaluation.

I
remember that my last lines during the session was to make sure that
they do it in their areas; that they hold their own voter's ed. More
often than not, Jesuit Volunteers are given high regard in the areas,
thus placing them in an influential position. It was their duty both to
the people in their area and to our country.

I was also doing
various voter's ed works outside my work as JVP. . . But that was in
2004. Elections are coming up but I have found myself not caring that
much. I don't even read the paper as often as I did nor do I watch the
news. A huge part of me has become quite apathetic.

----
The
past 2 weeks have been hell week,doing an instructional video on how to
vote and how to protect our votes. I won't go to the details on why
this project seem to have badluck tied to it as I may change how you
perceive some people whom a lot of us have always admired.

Part
of the video is shooting MAN on the STREET (MOS) interviews, throwing
them different questions related to elections. One question reads - "Ano ang mga katangian ng tao na sa tingin mo ay dapat ihalal at ilagay sa pwesto ng panunungkulan sa Gobyerno?" Answers varied but they were as vague as - "MakaDiyos, Makabayan, May Malasakit sa Mahihirap, May puso para sa masa."
Not that there's anything wrong with those answers. I mean, sure I
would want a leader with all those qualities but can't you give me
something more tangible and measurable? I was throwing follow up
questions, specific to education qualities or experiences, careful not
to lead them into my own answer but they continued to be vague - "Ok lang kahit di graduate sa kolehiyo basta nais makatulong."

Can
I just say this out loud? - DIYOS ko PO!!! Ganito lang ba talaga
kalawak ang nais natin sa ating mga lider? In that case Richard Gomez
does have a point for running and winning because he did say he just
wanted to help. And how do we measure makaDiyos? Because he goes to
mass regularly or we see him in Church? And how do we balance makamasa
with may alam sa batas at sa panunungkulan?

Mga kababayan, CAN
WE BE MORE DEMANDING?! When it comes to our leaders, we ought to demand
for the best! Let's put in some specifics when we are asked for
qualities of the leaders we want. Let's make that list concrete,
tangible and make no compromises. Magaling nga siya pero mamamatay tao,
hindi pwede yun. Makamasa nga siya pero wala siyang alam sa batas. Nais
niyang makatulong, pero di wala siyang konkretong plano kung paano niya
gagawin yun. We've become such a country of pwede na yan and we ought
to stop it. Hindi pwede ang pwede na yan!

Felt so bad after
doing the MOS. I felt helpless and a lot guilty. I actually wanted to
hold an impromptu Voter's Ed in the shoot, if only we had time and I
had the energy to do so... We are still editing the instruction video
and there's not a part there that really educates the voter's on who to
vote and to have high standards in choosing leaders. It reminds them to
be careful who to vote for, pero walang pagdiin kung sino nga ba
bobotohin.

Sad, guilty... I ought to get up and do something more.